Dickcheese

where your dick turns to cheese

you are free to eat your own, but ask before consuming others' cheese dicks. if you consume someone else's dickcheese without consent you can be charged with both assault both general and sexual

if it's consensual though, go at it, you crazy kids

this website is not medically certified and cannot be held liable for creation and/or subsequent loss of dick, cheese or otherwise. no individual actions taken after visiting this page can be held against the creators in a court of law. for genuine medical advice regarding presence of penile sebum in uncircumsised individuals, please consult this webmd article and do not attempt to contact the website creator

i went through the agony of actually finding a dickcheese porn clip and i regret it greatly because now i'm sick to my stomach. i hope you're happy, neocities.

apparently i have to keep going despite the volume of emotional and psychological trauma i just endured, so here's a list of top ten favorite cock cheeses

• coming (lol) in first place is: that italian mozzeralla dickcheese. mama mia.
• in close second, blue cheese. everyone loves that smurf dick.
• third place has been bestowed upon cheddar, a common yet refined brand of dickcheese belonging to old, nasty, rich sugar daddies with too much money and more hoes than they realistically deserve.
• dear god i really have to keep this up for a whole 10 bullshit lines. PROVOLONE. the most flavorless of cheeses, for those with sensitive tastebuds who cannot endure the pungent scent and taste of average cock cheese, but still wish to experience it.
• coming in a modest fifth place, renowned as a classic, cottage dickcheese a common favorite due to its appearance and texture.
• in sixth comes munster cheese, a rarity and acquired taste found only beneath the foreskin of, you guessed it, everyone's favorite monster mascot, gritty.
• seventh place is occupied by yet another acquired, but no less enjoyable taste, pepperjack cheese. if regular dickcheese just doesn't have enough kick for you, we highly recommend this specially cultivated sebum for your cockspice needs.
• eighth place is claimed by a toasty variant of the classic cheddar: smokehouse cheddar! a rare cheese created only after the most vile sugardaddies have died of old age and been cremated, sebum slowly simmered under their greying, dead dickjackets to create a truly unique flavor.
• in ninth place is a favorite to those who prioritize texture in their dickcheeses of choice: gouda. found primarily under a dutch devil's umbrella, gouda is harder than most cheeses, but renowned for its smoothness.
• in last, but certainly not least, lies brie cheese; from cows' milk, brie is soft and spreadable, but from cocks' milk, it's equally soft by comparison. and by soft, we mean watery. those who enjoy it find it to be refreshing and quite dehydrating after a mouthful of anything else.
• fuck.